Thursday, February 16, 2006

A Birthday Party

Right off the bat, let me share with you that Bill, mentioned in an earlier post, did indeed come by my dock shack a week from the day he had the accident.  Bill looked healthier than ever and made good on his promise to give me a big hug!  The doctors have said that he has had a complete recovery.


Our days around the house have been filled with many sounds since Christmas.  Happy sounds, serious sounds, mischievous sounds, the sounds of a young boy that reached age seven yesterday.  I’ll have more on the birthday celebrations in a bit. 


It has been quite an experience for our household to serve as a permanent home for a little boy for these last few months.  In that amount of time there has been a lot of bonding and shared experiences.  The weekly bike rides that Trenton and I take have become a staple of our lives and will be so missed when Trenton rejoins his mom and dad.


That is what I am coming to now.  On Saturday, March25, Trenton will board a flight to Oregon to join Trace and Danielle.  I am not happy abo

ut this, but I have no say, in my humble opinion, it would be wiser to let him finish out the school year here and send him to join the others in Oregon at the end of the school term.  Trace and Danielle say absolutely not!  They do not want to be away from him for that long.


Trace has taken a job with a fellow he’d worked with in the past and has rented a house and, together with Danielle, has made it ready to receive Trenton.  Plane tickets have been bought and an escorted flight has been arranged for the little guy to get there.


I have some problems with all of this because the two of them need professional help due to their addiction to controlled substances.  All of the promises to go to counseling and drug rehab have fallen by the wayside and they feel they are ready to accept the responsibility of raising their son once more.  I have heard this as though it was a broken record and I am helpless.  Trace is not my son, but my stepson.  He is not my flesh and blood and since I am not his father, I have no say in how he leads his life. 


I will not go to war with my wife over this issue, our relationship and the feelings we share are too dear to me to risk.  It is her opinion that we must bow to the wishes of Trenton’s parents and return him when they request it.  Paulette assures me she will keep a pulse on the situation in Oregon and call Family Services at even the least hint of impropriety on the part of Trenton’s parents. 


We have been teaching Trenton our phone number and making sure he has it memorized and knows how to dial us long distance collect.  He has promised to call if things are still the same with his parents.  It seems to me to be too big of a burden to thrust into the hands of a seven year old.  As Trenton steps on that plane we will be praying that God has a good life planned for that little boy.


Now, on to the celebrations!  Trenton did not want a big party, just the four of us Paulette, Aunt Sandy, Trenton and me.  He was allowed to choose the meal and pizza was his meal of choice to be followed by Cheesecake and Tin Roof ice cream.  He chose cheesecake on his own with no coaching from Grandpa Sam, honest!  He remembered the Cheesecake variety wheel Grandpa Sam was treated to on his last birthday and wanted the same! 


The pictures tell the rest of the story, and I’ll add a little line with each one to keep us all on the same page.  Oh, I deferred to Aunt Sandy’s wishes and took no pictures with her in the frame.


Let the Party Begin!


This Group looks ready for a good time!  (Paulette, Trenton & Sam)

Trenton Reading The Cards

Grandma lending a hand with the reading

Emmie sizing up the scene before deciding the party was for her!

Trenton showing off the spoils

Give a kitty a wad of paper and she is in heaven!

Emmie was so happy she got a box for Trenton's Birtday!

Paulette entertaining a party guest.

Emmie plays with the birthday boy!

Trenton chose the cheesecake wheel all on his own, no influence from Gandpa, honest!

Add a little Tin Roof ice cream and now we are talking party!

The Birthday Boy enjoying the spoils!


mosie1944 said...

I SO know how you feel.  Years ago, my ex DIL tried to GIVE me her son, my first grandchild, when he was 3 or so.  I was so torn.  When you are a grandparent, you're pretty helpless as far as having any control in the lives of grandchildren.  It makes me cry yet, thinking how torn I was back then.  Dang it.

nightmaremom said...

Looks like an absolute blast!  I am so glad Trenton had such a good Bday, and it appears Grandma and Papa enjoyed themselves too.  Sam, I feel your worries about Trenton on his next journey, back home.  We all feel and send our prayers that this journey will be a good one for him and there will be no need to use that memorized number except to call and say he loves and misses you, which he surely will!

jlocorriere05 said...

I can understand your apprehension on this, I'm so glad you got Trenton to memorize your number, good idea! I hope he doesn't need it but as you say you've heard it all before. The party looks great, why wasn't I invited?! I'm an ice cream and cheesecake-oholic!! Emmie looks like she enjoyed herself, my cats would have loved to have joined in. I hope Trenton will be OK with his parents and will only need to call you to say everything is alright. Wishing you all the best, I know you'll miss him. So glad to hear Bill dropped by and is doing well. Jeannette.

astaryth said...

Looks like a wonderful party! And what a HUGE grin that little boy has on his face.

I realize that it is hard to let him go, and there will undoubtedly be a hole in your lives, but you will just have to trust that things will go well. By teaching Trenton your phone number, and other things, you have at least given him a chance if things are NOT better. I have my fingers crossed his parents are actually ready for the responsibility.... but I am glad you are keeping an eye on the situation! I'm so sorry that they can't see their way clear to let him finish the school year, I agree with you that would have probably been a better way to handle it... <sigh> It is so hard sometimes deciding what is the best...

robinngabster said...

This brings tears to my eyes Sam... this little boy is so lucky to have a Grandpa like you. All we can do is pray it will all work out.  Keeping Trenton in my prayers...hang  in there.

rap4143 said...

I hope and pray your grandson's parents straighten out their lives!!! He is a lucky boy to have two great grandparents there for him!!!!

oceanmrc said...

Oh, my heart aches for you.  I would say that unfortunately his parents' willingness to pull him out of school 2 months before the end of the year is not a good sign of parenting skills on their part.  

I was seven when my mother died.  A 7yo can do a lot of things.  Be sure he knows that number and has options for getting to a phone.  

But also, as I am remembering seven: can't one of you go with him?  That's a long way for a little boy to fly by himself to a whole new life.

libragem007 said...

oh Sam..these pictures and him...just reading about his simple birthday wishes..just to be with the people closest to him and cheesecake! This is a wonderful story of a boy and you and Paulette who is growing up together (I mean with him in a good way)
These pictures shows me what a wonderful boy he is. It seems I am reading like if he stays with you, he'll definitely grow up into a fine young man. Yet there is a destiny waiting for him.
But you know what I think? You and Paulette already set something in him that he'll always carry and remember in his heart & thought.
The love & time you shared with him plus more. It will always be with him.
You've done wonderful.
Happy Birthday to Trenton~
Gem :-)

mariebm56 said...

I am so sorry you have to let go of your grandson.  It will be the hardest thing you will ever have to do.  Not only do you have to teach him your phone number, but he needs to be aware of controlled substances & never get in the car with anyone under the influence, if he is not already aware.

I pray his parents wake up & get counseling.  

barbpinion said...

Love given is never wasted, Sam. I know you know this, in spite of your concerns. Trenton is so blessed to have you and your wife in his life. As well, know all of you are in my prayers. Love the pictures. Trenton is so precious.You're going to miss that little guy, I know.
Hugs, love and many thanks for being there for me.

jevanslink said...

What a cute little boy. He obviously loved his party. And all those presents made it look like Christmas!!!    Mrs. L

dawngepfer said...

Sam, so much of what you wrote in this entry touched my heart.  I'm sitting here with tears in my eyes.  I will be thinking of all of you - you, Paulette, Trenton, Trace & Danielle - and keeping you all in my prayers.  Hang tough.

onemoretina said...

    Thanks, Sam, for posting the birthday pics.  What a handsome boy your Trenton is.  I can see that he had a wonderful day.  I'm sorry that you will have to part with him next month.  I know that this has to be very difficult for you.  And yet, you are doing what you have to do.  Remember that you and Paulette have given this young man a wonderful gift these past few months, and he will take that with him when he goes.  I'll pray that all goes well for him ... and for you.  God bless, Tina

coy1234787 said...

    Thanks for sharing this celebration with us. Sam ... all of you, especially Trenton's parents will be in my thoughts and prayers. This is not going to be easy for any of you. Trenton has been very lucky little boy to have Grandparents like you and Paulette and I'm sure that he will carry much of what he's learned from the two of you back to Oregon with him. Keep us posted on his progress.

                                   *** Coy ***


jtuwliens said...

I am not happy with the news of Trenton leaving the safety of your home.  Nope, not happy at all.  It's just not right, Sam, just not right.  Closing my pie hole now.

gdireneoe said...

Oh heart is just aching for you three.  I've been where you are hon''s very difficult.  Kudos to you for teaching Trenton your phone number.  Give him a code word use should he not be able to reach you directly...something easy...Star Wars...whatever he loves...cheesecake.  Prayers for all of you.  I don't know how involved you are willing to get when he goes out there...but when my sister was trying to leave her husband, I contacted and met with a detective in her city to give someone background info.  It helped.  they were able to quietly keep tabs on her...she didn't know it until after she left him.  He doesn't know to this day.  My thoughts are with you hon'. ;)  C.

gravydogg55 said...


jeroldssis said...

I have to agree with Judith.  I'm not liking this one bit.  But...I know that's how it is.  A code word for Trenton is a good idea.  I know your heart has to be ripping apart right now.  This is not even my family or situation and I'm having anxiety for you!  lol.  Keep us updated.  Please.


lurkynat said...

Dear Sam,
what a glorious entry! You and Paulette gave trenton the time of his life there!
I know that you are so proud of him! We here in JLand are proud of you and Paulette! Creatinga wonderful home for Trenton and being there for him 24/7 was an adjustment ! And you two do it beautifully! I'm sure he'll be back soon; possibly wiht his parents in tow for a nice visit!hugs,natalie
p.s....are you sure taht Grandpa didn't influence the choice of desert???lol

mavarin said...

It sounds as though you've done everything you can, and wll continue to do so.  I hope everything works out! With you careing as you do what happens, I thinki Trenton has a good chance of landing on his feet.  


ryanagi said...

Great photos! Man, that wheel of cheese cake looks AWESOME! Good choice! LOL I know the thought of putting him on that plane is just tearing you up. I hope all works out for the best! (and woo hoo on the defib life saving move! good on ya!)

madcobug said...

Sam this is a good entry. Trenton looks really happy. I am praying for a safe flight for him and also that his parents have got themselves sorted out and will stay that way and that Trenton will be safe and happy with them. Good idea to help him memorize your and Paulett's phone number. If he keeps a wallet yet it would be a good idea to also put it in there. If he takes all those toys home will will be loaded down LOL. Have a great day and God bless. Helen
P.S Glad you got a hug from your friend.

mutualaide said...

So glad Trenton had a Happy Birthday with big smiles all around.  I think about your worry and Trenton having to go and I keep you all in my thoughts and prayers.  Very smart to be sure he knows how he can reach you.  

Good news on your friend Bill too.

samnsmile5 said...

The pictures of Trenton and all of you on his birthday are wonderful....such a darling little guy.  I'm sure you have mixed emotions about sending him back with his parents...what a tough thing it will be to watch him leave.  I hope it all works out for little Trenton and you should be proud of what you've done for him.  

ally123130585918 said...

Sam I am so pleased you got your big hug from Bill. so glad he made a complete recovery......The Pictures at Trenton's birthday celebrations are just lovely, he looks such a happy little boy with his with his Grandpa and Grandma.  you are going to find it hard to let him go back to his parents..I pray that Trace and Danielle do take good care of him.
I would buy Trenton a name bracelet and have your phone number engraved on the back and his name on the front - then he will always have your number in case he needs you...I am sure Paulette will keep a pulse on the situation......Ally

memes121 said...

I don't know who looks happier, Trenton or the cat, LOL!

sieblonde said...

The pictures are awesome.  :) Trenton is a very lucky boy to have a G'ma and G'pa that will be there for him if he needs it.  Big hugs to you, I know this has to be so difficult. ~Sie

tc01hm said...

Seeing Bill and getting that hug must have been elating for you.
Sorry to hear that Trenton has to leave at the end of March. Sounds to me that the parents are thinking of themselves and not what is best for their child. I agree with you that he should be allowed to finish the school year. It also sounds as if you and Paulette have done all you can for now. You two have a plan with Trenton if he needs you by arming him with information. He knows that he can count on you. You might tell him that he can also ask a teacher for help. (Just a thought from a Foster Parent's view)
Happy Birthday Trenton, I'll keep you in my prayers and thoughts.

stupidsheetguy said...

Sam, ya never cease to amaze me. Trenton is fully prepared to face whatever might come his way thanks to the foundation you've given him, and the fact that he'll always know there's somewhere he can go for support.

I'm sure he'll never forget what you and Paulette have done for him, and I have a feeling that he is on his way to becoming a fine man like his Grandfather.

And I'm glad your friend Bill made good on his "debt".


piperacharmed1 said...

I hope for Trenton's sake that things turn out well when he moves back with his parents. Looks like he had a great birthday! My mom used to bring that same exact cheesecake tray to every holiday....yum   : )


salemslot9 said...

with the kit-tay

swmpgrly said...

great pics! Love the cat too.

dornbrau said...

Young Trenton has received more gifts than he unwrapped, the gift of love, the gift of family, and the gift of the knowledge that he has an option.  Many kids don't have that option, they have no place to turn, no one to turn to if they can't turn to their own parents.  Trenton has all of those gifts, and he knows it.  He will do fine.

robinngabster said...

Congrats on editor's pick buddy!!!!  Noiw pass that cheesecke wheel this way would ya?

ajoleblon said...

Sam, you are going to miss that little boy when he leaves but we have to trust that God has a hand in all of this and he will watch out for him.  You have done all you can do for now.
Looks like the little guy had one heck of a party!  

artloner said...

So glad Bill is back, and that party!  Well now! Guess my cheesecake is in the mail...don't squish it!  LOL  


ps: T. is a darlin' boy, I can tell.

astaryth said...

Just popping in again to say.... CONGRATULATIONS on being on of Dorn's picks. She did good! Enjoy your week (isn't that better than 15 minutes?) of fame!

topazscorpio26 said...

Congrats on being an editor's pick. -Dawn-

emmapeeldallas said...

You guys are GREAT and I'm glad that Trenton can count on you.  He's so lucky to have you in his life.

Also, thanks for sharing the pics.  I really enjoyed them.


dtbrierly said...

Oh Sam, I will keep that precious little boy in my prayer's.  It must be so frustrating!  I have a new grandson I don't get to see and he lives a mile away.  I don't understand the selfishness in young "adults."  My best to you all :)


childebrand1968 said...

Well, it is nice to have you back with us, Sam!  I have missed your stories :)

This entry made up for it, too.  I'm happy Trenton had a great birthday.  I think all his choices, from the guest list to the dessert, were just perfect!  He looks like he had himself a good time.... as did the kitty ;)

I'm sorry his parents went back on their own.  Though I do hope that all works out okay for Trenton.  I understand the role of step parent, and all that goes with it.  But, you've done all you can and Trenton knows the phone number if he ever needs you guys.

I know you have mixed feelings on sending him back, but we can only wish things will be different and better this time.

Thanks for sharing.  Glad Bill is fine!


jmorancoyle said...

    Happy birthday, Trenton! Yes!
    March 31st is still a long way away. A lot can happen by then. You're all in my prayers.

godsfava8 said...

I enjoyed looking over your blog and a beautiful family you have. Going to walmart now to get cheesecake. smile

ksquester said...

Sam, I am sending you an if I go into your spam file, come "get me".........Thanks, Anne

bedazzzled1 said...

The photographs are charming, and they show a very happy birthday boy. I am so glad he had a great day.

I paused to look at him for a good while. He really does seem happy. I hope you and your wife realize the positive impact you have made on that child. You provided love and stability when he desperately needed it. You were there for him every step of the way. You have shown him the way things SHOULD be. A valuable lesson learned at a very young age.

I, too, hope his life will be a good one. You just may have planted the very seeds that will ensure that he reaps a rewarding life.

deveil said...

he looks like he had a blast.


slbourgoyne said...

Our prayers have been added.  Thanks for including the pictures.  It was great to finally see what my step cousin looks like.  He is such a cute little guy.  Obviously has good taste, too.  Love ya'll.  Lynn