I will post an entry tomorrow with part two of my vacation. Today I want to take a brief moment to thank those that voted for me in the VIVI Awards nominations. To be nominated for Best New Journal is an honor in itself that I cherish. Thank you, my readers for the vote of confidence. I am awed at the company I am in and, to echo a thought being shared in journals all around J-Land today, just to be nominated is a great honor that I will always have to remember.
I didn’t know if I would be able to entry Judith Heartsong’s Artsy Essay Contest this month. Tonight is the deadline for entering. I believe so strongly in the effort that Judi puts into this contest every month and the spirit with which she holds it. Here is a link to her entry site: http://journals.aol.com/judithheartsong/newbeginning/entries/1595
Like the VIVI Awards, all the entrants in this contest each month are winners for the effort they put out and all of J-Land benefits from the exposure to these great journals and the journalists who write them.
This month the subject for the essay is:
The one thing I would most like you to know about me........
Tell us something: a secret, a wish, a thought or hope, your greatest desire or temptation, or something unique about you in poetry or prose. Tell us what you feel strongly about, something funny or serious..... what you most want us to know about you. Don't just tell us this special something and leave it at that.... we want to know so much more! Help us to feel and know what it is you think and why. There is LOTS of room for creativity here and descriptive language, and engaging writing will earn you points. Thiswriting exercise is about self-expression and communicating clearly so that we can share your feelings for a bit.
And remember as always: Descriptive,
Here is my entry!
My secret wish would be to have been an actor. I started acting very, very young. Not professional, of course, but as a young child of about five or six, I participated in neighborhood shows that my older sister and her friends would put on for our parents on warm summer evenings in Montgomery, Alabama back in the very late fifties.
Remember the old movies where Mickey Roonie and his neighborhood pals would have some deep need to raise some money. They would get together and vote to put on a show and charge for entrance. It was just a coincidence that everyone in his neighborhood sang and danced like a professional, LOL! Something would always happen and Mickey and his pals would insist that the show must go on and they always were a smash hit!
Take away all the professionalism and the entry fees and that was kind of what my neighborhood was like when I was five or six years old. My sister Jan gets most of the credit for staging these summer evenings with her friends. They needed extras to fill in and I would be allowed to join the cast.
Later, as a high school student, I acted in Church plays and had the lead role in my senior class play the year I graduated. At no time during all of this did I think about acting as a vocation. I was more interested in the mechanics of it all and how to produce and direct stage acts and television shows.
I later changed my major in College from Marine Biology to Communications and went into the television production end of things in a big way. My lack of aptitude in higher math helped me with that decision. I was off to a fabulous career behind the scenes and I never looked back. Well, almost never.
I can still remember the thrill as I stepped out on a stage and the spotlight suddenly hit me. The fear of blowing the most important lines of the show and the feelings of love for the audience as they were pulled into the story by my acting and dialogue. How my heart would soar when they laughed at the right time. The rush of adrenaline as they gasped during a dramatic climax to a plot. How the power of my performance would render an entire auditorium so silent that you could hear a pin drop between my words.
I have allowed myself to think from time to time through the years about how it would have turned out if I had chosen to go in front of the camera instead of behind it. I have shared this little wish with no one. It’s just been hanging around in my inner sanctum only to surface privately at very odd times throughout my adult life.
In my private thoughts I can see myself as the Wilford Brimley type making a decent living acting as an aging cowboy or selling senior citizen type stuff on television advertisements for nice size fees that would take me effortlessly through the retirement years. As it is, I’ll probably have to keep working a full time job until the day I drop. Good thing I chose a profession I can enjoy as an older gentleman. I can see me as a Dock Master or marina manager for years to come.
Still yet, every fall, as we progress towards winter, I think about how the winter of my life will end up and I still feel that little tug at my gut. I think about "the what if…" and the "If only I had…"
That’s my secret wish, I wish I had been an actor.